Budge for Budget

Can prices of commodities be fixed only on their economic position in the market rather than social impact & vote bank implication? This is the question I ask myself scrubbing my makeshift Yogendra Yadav stubble every time I see a budget rap-up on news channels. There is this show on TV which picks people from street at random and asks them their recommendations for the upcoming Budget. Last week they picked a shady looking rag picker…. half droopy half dopey.. He asked for a subsidy on 250ml whisky pet bottles. I’m waiting for my turn..my reco’s : Ban the ciggies, hike the LPG and fuck the police…. thank you please.

Fight Club: Dishum Dishum

Its amazing , how I catch the most bizarre bits of news even after I’ve proof read the whole newspaper when it had first appeared on my door mat at the break of dawn. Now its way past midnight I’ve had coffee I glance over the newspaper. It reads “Amar Singh’s phone tapped”, “Subhaash Bhowmick held on charges of accepting bribe”, “Roger Fedrer in final” nothing unusual but wait what’s this in the magazine section? “Fight Club starring Sohail Khan, Zayed Khan”. It is true they are making Fight Club in Hindi with manicured boys spitting blood like Brad Pitt, male duds pulling punches onto each other and fighting till their faces are smeared with blood. The promo’s have it Dino Morea with a prophetic sigh yelling “Fight Club ka pehla rule koi bhi fight club ka baat nahi karega” (…...ueee maa I’m scared ) juxtaposed with 1999’s Edward Norton starrer you’ll see the reason for my hilarity. This doesn’t end here, just last month I saw “Chocolate” and it was such a pathetic immitation of Kevin Spacey’s “Usual Suspect” that me and friends were peeling to laughter adding to the dismay of people sitting next to us.

The Fight Club released in 1999 was an adaptation of Chuck Palahnuick’s novel which some found sick. I found it faithfully following Chuck Palahniuk's acerbic satire, Fight Club presents the vast emptiness of modern existence- ridden as it is with shallow values, rampant consumerism, empty of meaning, feeling and life itself- in a slick and ironically consumer oriented fashion. It talks about a group of bare knuckle street fighters headed by Ed Norton who is a bored surveyor of an insurance company. In his subconscious he is a vagabond soap maker called Tyler Durden i.e. Brad Pitt and comes to life at night. It is the insomnia of Ed Norton that compels him to acquire a schizophrenic double identity without being completely aware of it. It rather compels the viewer to draw their own conclusions. Now I’ll be surprised if the Hindi version of movie will be any good because Sohail, Dino, Ashish etc..are the regular cuttie-cuddlies, their non existent acting skill can’t depict the masochistic tendencies of the Fight Club dudes who were antisocial/ anti-establishment and counter culture to the core. And I’m sure Neha Dhupia and Amrita Arora don’t make beautiful sluts like Helena Bonham Carter. And forget the ciggies there is a blanket ban on smoking in Bollywood. I wonder can someone stop these third generation filmmakers from making these heart felt “inspirational movies”.

Delhi Blogger's Meet

For the uninitiated DBM is an acronym for Delhi Blogger’s meet its not Data Base Management ok, my engineering friends. On 29th Jan DBM was supposed to kick off at CP walla CCD ie Café Coffee Day (…not charge coupled diode) and I was suckered to be the first one to arrive. I could see old geysers having a cuppa, prospective couples, people fiddling with their mobiles and some isolated blogger thinking where the hell everybody is. Everybody meant pseudonyms coz I’m new to the crew I knew no faces and names. There should be a ruling against people signing incognito I’ll tell you why: If I sign as Tyler Durden on my blog there might be an impression in your subconscious and you might come expecting a Brad Pitt look-alike. Let’s forget appearance for a second I think it’s already an overrated virtue. Around two years back I had a blog on live journal and I signed as “Daaku Gabbar”(….really it’s true) suppose I hadn’t junked that blog then what a surprise it would have been.

By the time clock struck 4:30 I had finished coffee and surprisingly I was printed Mr. Nayak on bill. Now Mr Nayak i.e me was pissed and looking at his mobile to call the moderator but she is already on her way …. wait there somebody on the door, no he is a pony tailed fella, looks clean can’t be a blogger. There is someone behind him, he is carrying a camera on his shoulder. Sorry boss, wrong address no photo shoots here bloggers are nocturnal buggers… don’t make great models. Now there’s this quiet dude, the other is scratching his head, earlier he was doing rounds outside. Now there are five people coming close shaking hands. So I am at the right address these are Dilli Blogger-Motley Crew (……..cathartic feeling sinks).

I meet Kreeti, Snigdha, Amit, Sanjukta, Sanjay, Asheeth etc….or should I address them as Maam and Sir….maybe I should I’m the youngest here. The upper storey was under renovation; with drills and hammer playing carousal a quick consensus for COSTA was passed…yes bloggers are a democratic species. COSTA boasts of generous serving and comfy sofas- an Italian Coffee experience that’s there tag line. The coffee was better than what I used to brew in Chemistry lab often in lieu of marks in internals. Still my professors swear by it.

People have got coffee tumblers and started the “Chai-vaarta”. I was posed with the first question. Question which I field most of the time “Tell me, wassup really I haven’t seen your blog". My reply “Yes, Sir I haven’t seen yours either”. Our first agenda i.e blogs as an advertising medium. I compromised my stand and was made to tilt my opinion in favor that too by an ex-blogger who despite a staccato accent was an advertising guru himself. Ok guys, from next week I’ll feature ads for homemade “vaada-pao” on my blog I know I can’t make money like this but at least I can expect Delhi Bloggers to book orders for marriage and kittie parties. (…I know you won’t let me down).

The evening was turning to night and still no sign of the mythic “Twilight Fairy” some tell me she appears after dark. I don’t mind, our tumblers are empty and we are running short of engrossing agendas. Mr. Sanjay has captured eight lost souls on camera and is busy brewing his own agenda with Mr. Nikon.

We are joined by Nikhil Pahwa and his buddy. He introduces himself as a blogger and is friends with Jai Arjun Singh of Jabberwocky fame. He is growing hair, aspires to have rockstar like trendy tresses. He explains to me why Mr Jai Arjun reads so much? (…….its his job dumbass, what are book reviewers supposed to do)

Dr Madhulika, the blog meets official observer is wondering about her appointments and the cavities that need to be fixed ……oh damn these bloggers have great teeth (..congenial smiles all around)

COSTA is getting empty, the hip hop crowd next to ours has left, no sign of Twilight Fairy. The a.c is finally working, its display reads 15 Celsius but its still hot maybe the a.c is Indian not Italian. There is another serious onlooker of our conversation Mr. Swagat, who had probably come expecting a debate. But we are bloggers: rambler we don’t debate Barkha Dutt debates. Moreover if “Big fight” equals debates then “DBM” equals Great Indian Comedy Show.

Sun’s down its evening Twilight Fairy appears, she happens to be a long lost friend of a fellow blogger ……hugs, hughes and heartfelt cheers! At least DBM has networked two friends. More discussion on varying topics like R.T.I act, NGO startups..etc follow. Its 8:00 clock DBM concludes. Its time for me to shut up and leave.



P.S: “A very stereotyped person is the poor engineer”--- just like the author, who inspite his sarcastic self enjoyed being at DBM and thanks all bloggers.